March 31, 2015

lemme update ya

    In the time since I've last posted I can assure you I've stayed the exact same. But at least I'm being consistent, right? Consistency is key. I made a banana smoothie tonight and it was a really great consistency and I thought to myself "consistency is key" so that's why I said that. It's true.
    I've been listening to a lot of classic rock lately. A lot of Styx. Basically just Styx. I think it's because I miss my father or the father I wish I had. I wish Dennis DeYoung was my dad Glen Burtnik can fuck right off. Real dad if you read this, where are you? I'd love to meet you some day and ditch Glen Burtnik once and for all.
    I went on a run today this is not an April Fool's joke I'm probably going to do it again on April Fool's day which also won't be a joke. I never joke about exercise. Mostly because I don't like talking about it in general; makes me feel weird and I don't understand any of it. Also, I've been enjoying eating very clean, green and jumbleen even though last week I made a video in which I professed my love for binge eating Cool Ranch Doritos (this blog post is sponsored by Doritoes and I'm getting paid a lot of money to write it sry that's why it;s so professional :P) so I will probably continue eating healthy and nice so I can look healthy and nice for my roommate and her boyfriend. Speaking of videos I recently surpassed 25,000 subscribers on YouTube and all I can say about that is WOW!! About fucking time. Jesus. Anyway I decided I love my dad, Glen Burtnik, again.
    Hmmmm, what else... Each night before I fall asleep I go through how I would murder my upstairs neighbours? Nah, that's boring you don't want to hear about that. You want to hear about my dad again? My father papa? Papa, can you hear me? I love my Barbara mom. I've always wished I was Jewish that's probably the most serious thing I've ever said.
    I check my phone 98% of the day and I'm getting kind of worried for myself but your consistent fav's and RT's get me through the day. Popularity is key. Consistency isn't key anymore. Remember that.
    Think I might take up rapping soon.
    My brother and his girlfriend are my only friends but that's ok because there are a lot of people here and I just remembered I don't really like people in quantities. Quan Titties. Asian kitties. That meant to say titties but my laptop did NOT like that one, lemme tell ya. Anyhootie and the blowfish, that's about it for now!! When I think of other things to say I'll get back to you because that's what the internet is for.
    Night night, Grammy!