April 09, 2014

OOTD: lo$er


WEARING:
DIY "LOSER" cropped tee
American Apparel spandex leggings
ghetto a$$ runners
Aldo sunglasses

Today was the first day I actually changed my clothes since, like, Monday. So. That gives you a little taste as to how I've been. My left ear has been plugged from this damn head cold for what seems like centuries and I fear I'll never hear properly ever again for a week!!1! Anyway, so I decided to actually leave my tissue infested bed and go for a little walk but FIRST I had to dress the way I felt. This outfit was the outcome of those feelings mixed with a little Tumblr outfit inspiration of this one outfit I saw that I SWEAR I REBLOGGED and was going to post, but is gone into the ever growing vast interwebs. But I mean, it looked like this (kinda). Also, I really just wanted a chance to show my butt. I haVE A BUTT LOOK AT IT IT'S BEEN 87 YEARS I FINALLY HAVE A BUTT PRAISE DEBRA MESSING YOU GAYS!!!! I never in my life, ever ever ever ever ever ever, thought I'd be one to actually enjoy working out. Something happened to me. I must have been abducted. Or hypnotized. But it's happening. Help??? Or don't. I like my butt. Do you like my butt? Don't answer that, GRANDPA. But enough about me, how are you? HA HA PSYCHE! No one is here.

edit: I just realized my drink I've been drinking has SUCRALOSE IN IT. C'MON SERIOUSLY IT IS 2014 THIS IS STILL A THING??? AT LEAST MAKE THE FONT BIGGER GOD DAMMIT EVERYTHING'S GONE TO SHIT

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April 02, 2014

untitled screenplay

INT. TEENAGE GIRL(well, she's pushing it but let's just say she's a teenager because she's psychologically unable to perceive herself as a responsible adult)'s bedroom - NIGHT

TEENAGE GIRL is in her pajamas and has no makeup on/hasn't brushed her hair AKA she looks cute a frick okay don't even try to judge her she's her own person! A child!! T.G. is scrolling through TUMBLR and as we zoom in we see adorable photos of puppies (she's such a innocent one!!). Suddenly the bedroom door swings open and enter SUSAN, T.G'S overbearing mother. At that very moment, all the puppy photos turn into graphic hard core dog porn!! DOG PORN!! T.G doesn't follow tHOSE sorts of blogs!! She's a child! SUSAN casts a disappointed look towards her childish-yet-still-considered-a-teen-but-probably-should-grow-up daughter as T.G. frantically tries to exit the browser without success. As soon as SUSAN leaves, sobbing, the photos turn back to normal. Then, OH SHIT, SUSAN enters again and the cycle continues over and over and over and over and over again until the dogs come home.

TEENAGE GIRL
                           Pun intended.

PAN OUT